More tranny stories later!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
