She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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