nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
