Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
