Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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