white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
