I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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