he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
