Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
