Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
