Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
