my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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