I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
