why didn't you poke me back
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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