At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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