Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
