somebody snuck up and got me drunk
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
