Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
