When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize