So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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