My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
