I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
