yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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