oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
