last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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