I think my fart just growled at me.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
