Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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