she was so not down for the gang bang
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
