Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
