i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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