Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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