Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
