I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
