Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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