sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
