My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
