She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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