I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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