I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
