hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you would pick up someone in the library
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
