i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize