its not stalking. its research.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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