So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dick very happy bro
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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