if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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