it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
