Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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