Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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