Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
