Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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