my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
