Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
