Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize