She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
