I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize