i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
