And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
