All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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