its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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