Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
